First Time Mama | A Riverview Home Birth Story | Tampa Bay Midwifery Care

“A home birth was my dream. Even before my husband and I got married I knew I wanted an alternative to hospital birth. I have very negative associations with hospital births as I have known too many people who were pressured into interventions or had traumatic experiences. I knew I wanted something different for myself and my future babies. A sweet friend of mine received midwifery care from Charlie and had amazing home birth experiences. So it was a no brainer that Charlie was our first call in early October 2019, just weeks before we conceived. Charlie was a breath of fresh air to my hormonally imbalanced and slightly discouraged spirit. She set us up with some practical steps to take right away to support my hormonal rebalance and I took action (a sweet part of our journey that we reminisced about together after Jameson’s arrival).

Needless to say I was THRILLED to let Charlie know when we got pregnant. I was even more thrilled we had planned on a home birth when Coronavirus altered hospital births in early 2020, isolating moms from additional support during labor and delivery. In the midst of so much uncertainty, our care remained peaceful, consistent, and empowering and I felt in total control of how I prepared for Jameson’s arrival. I focused on having the best care for myself and the baby throughout pregnancy. I consulted with an herbalist (Gururas at Seminole Heights Community Acupuncture is top notch), got acupuncture when I could, saw a chiropractor, exercised, and read…lots and lots of reading (my favorite books were Active Birth by Janet Balaskas and Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin). With this being my first pregnancy, I wanted to feel confident during birth and wanted to know anything and everything about having a successful homebirth. As much of a type A planner as I can be, I wanted to release control of my birth experience to allow my body to do whatever it needed. I had no particular expectations of how or where I would labor or what I would or wouldn’t like, I was open to whatever felt good and to the suggestions of the midwives when the time came. Looking back, that was the healthiest mindset I could’ve had for myself and our little man.

My pregnancy was nice and “boring”, as Charlie would say. I really enjoyed being pregnant and despite the pandemic, multiple heat advisories in July, and being 40 weeks 6 days, I felt good. I experienced Braxton Hicks contractions for just about the entire third trimester, they became part of my day to day. Just before my 40 week appointment, these contractions changed to be low and crampy, much like period cramps. Charlie confirmed he was “locked and loaded” and I experienced a lot more pressure in the front of my pelvis throughout the week. I was officially on maternity leave from work and focused on filling my days to keep my mind off of wanting to meet my baby boy so desperately. I walked 3 miles a day that week and did all the things to help my body accept labor when the time was right. I was far more emotional that week and remember feeling I could maybe be pregnant forever (silly I know); maybe he was just too comfortable.

So I really never thought “today’s the day” when I woke up Sunday morning with regular contractions that wrapped around my hips and back. From early on, they begged my attention as I couldn’t sleep through them. Nothing majorly painful but, with my breath, I acknowledged each one as they came and released them as they eased. Little man’s movements had also been particularly quiet since the night before, a bit out of the ordinary for him (looking back I think he was resting up for the day ahead). I never really had to kick count with him, he was so active on such a regular basis. So at 5:45am Sunday morning I woke up to pee, laid on the couch, drank some juice, ate a piece of toast, and waited to feel him move. My mind was put to ease when he started moving plenty within an hour and the contractions continued. 

Having had a few false alarms of progress during my third trimester, I didn’t mention anything about the additional discomfort to Jon, my husband, when he woke up. Around 9am I figured, if this was anything, I wanted to get a long walk in early to help myself along and then rest up as it could potentially be a long day. So I went on a 3-mile walk. My contractions continued regularly. I was able to walk through them but needed to really focus on my deep breathing as they came and went.  I spent the day resting, watching tv, sitting on our birth ball and breathing…lots of breath work to keep my mind right.

I don’t remember particularly focusing on the intensity increasing throughout the day, I just let it happen. I accepted each contraction for what it was and released it as it eased. I didn’t think about the fact that they would get harder or longer and I tried to avoid comparing one contraction to the next. What I do remember is that I moved, rocking and swaying, throughout the entire labor and breathed with loose horse lips most of the time and deep, loose vocals when I needed. Jameson moved too, he was incredibly active the entire labor, working with my body and each sensation to join us earth-side.

I called Erica sometime in the middle of the afternoon, as Jon mowed the lawn, to give her a heads up about the regularity of my contractions and that I would be in touch. My mom was in the area in the evening and decided to go ahead and come over. By the time she arrived around 6:30pm my contractions were 4 minutes apart, lasting 45sec-1min. Jon and mom took turns timing the contractions for the next hour and providing counter pressure on my back to take the edge off. My last call to Erica was around 8pm with active labor contractions and she headed our way.

Erica arrived just before 10pm, confirmed his heartrate was good and took my vitals. I chose to accept an internal exam only because I felt confident I had no expectations of how far along I was in terms of dilation. I was 5cm and 90% effaced. It really didn’t mean much to me and I continued to labor in whatever way felt right. I stayed in the living room for a couple hours, moving all around and changing positions often.

Sometime before midnight I moved to the tub, at Erica’s suggestion, and Charlie arrived. The tub honestly wasn’t my favorite as it didn’t relieve my back labor and it was harder for others to provide counter pressure, so that didn’t last long. But during the contraction just before I got out, I felt the first urge to bear down. I moved to the bed on all fours with a huge stack of pillows under my chest. In between contractions I rested forward on the pillows holding Jon’s hand and even dosed off at times. During contractions I sat up on my knees and used the towel they laid over my bottom, pulling it around my hips as hard as I possibly could, rocking back and forth and swaying my hips, bearing down slightly at the peaks and keeping my vocals open and low. I didn’t have to think about how to cope, I just did it. I felt like I was in this position for the longest compared to others.

 Finally, Charlie suggested another check to see if they needed to help me or if it was time to push. I accepted, and was 9cm and 90% effaced with the last bit of my cervix being very stretchy. Erica wanted to hold my cervix through the next contraction…it was the worst contraction of the whole labor since I was on my back and had no relief from the pain…I didn’t cope well but got through it. The next contraction came soon after as I turned onto my left side, head resting on my husband’s lap. I pulled my right leg to my chest and as I felt the urge to bear down, I felt this light tingle and POP! My water burst like a water balloon and soaked the whole bed, hit Charlie standing next to the bed, and soaked the floor around the bed for several feet. It was hysterical and I even remember laughing as I came out of that contraction at how dramatic it was.

 Things felt really fast from there. I started officially pushing soon after. My mom gave the sweet advice to “get anal with it” and Erica provided a warm compress, which felt SO GOOD and really helped me to start focusing my pushes. We later did directed pushing, as his head was asynclitic, while I was left-side lying and then right. Finally, he was around my pubic bone and ready to really come on down. I assumed a squat on the side of the bed. He was crowning at the second contraction. I could feel a small part of his head between my legs, he even moved his head in between contractions (pretty freaking wild). I was so determined to meet him. His head was out by the next contraction. I’ll never forget what it was like to see my baby’s head between my legs. I was so emotional already and so relieved as the ring of fire passed. Just before the fourth contraction they had me move to a half kneel, half squat position and his shoulders came out on the first push. Charlie and Erica passed him forward and I scooped him up in my arms. My baby boy was finally here and the relief in my back was immediate.

The oxytocin rushed in and I was so overwhelmed that I was holding my very own baby. He was perfect and so peaceful. We had made the best team, working together the whole labor to meet each other. Charlie and Erica took sweet care of us, helped me shower, started a load of laundry, and reviewed newborn and postpartum care with us. It was everything I could’ve dreamed of and more. I’ve been in awe each time I look back at pictures and videos my mother captured, I don’t recognize the strength and persistence of the woman in those videos. Not that I feel incapable of that kind of strength and persistence but it was so unlike anything I’ve ever experienced, so raw, so primal. It doesn’t compare to anything and I’m not sure it ever will. We are capable of far more than we think we are, especially when we give in to our instincts. Needless to say, I’ll be doing this again.”